


Heart of the Matter

by RadikoolSun



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Not so short anymore, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24373093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadikoolSun/pseuds/RadikoolSun
Summary: In the months following their victory, Catra begins to unpack (with a little help from Perfuma).
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	1. Heroes of Etheria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra discovers the Heroes of Etheria.

It takes three months of smiles, laughs, and celebrations for you to be comfortable with the way they see you. The first few times it happens you’re with Adora, so you aren’t sure they are actually looking at you; their smiles are too soft and their eyes are too warm. It finally hits you when you’re wandering alone through the Whispering Woods. The enchanting energy of the place seeps into your fur as you leap from tree to tree.

When you take a moment to rest, you notice a group of children rein-acting ‘The Awakening’. In their hooting and howling, you hear one of them give foolhardy instructions (you shake your head softly at little She Ra), another voice relentless encouragements (little bow earns an eye roll), and the third, shrieks royal decrees (you’d rather not dwell on little glimmer). Only after this does the young girl with leaves in her hair, and a spring in her step, bounce forward. Her declarations are made in earnest, “spreading life throughout the galaxy”. 

Two things happen then: 1. you realise that _you_ are one of the ‘Heroes of Etheria’ that the townspeople drone on about. 2. the notion makes your palm sweat and your tail stand on end. You hurry back to the palace, where the walls are high and Adora stays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Catra. And she needs to love herself too.


	2. Love of Etheria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perfuma helps Catra to dig a little deeper.
> 
> This chapter's a little longer

On more than one occasion, you’ve awoken abruptly to find your tail has wound itself tightly around Adora’s calf. You tell yourself that it has nothing to do with the ghosts that plague you at night. Rather, you take to rising earlier with each day, lifting the warm arm that rests across your waist, gently, before leaving the bed entirely. You don’t notice Adora eyes opening to track your movements as you creep through the door.  
  
Once you’re outside, you give a gratuitous stretch and yawn towards the sunrise. When you spot her, you assume your stalking position; the one reserved for particularly difficult hunts.   
  
“Hi, Catra!”  
  
“Just once, I’d like to be able to sneak up on you.”  
  
“Then we need to do something about your aura. I feel you before I see you.” Perfuma stretches out a hand for you, but you spring up and land softly on the giant leaf instead. You’re both sitting high in the air, enjoying the glow of the rising sun.   
  
“Nightmares again?”  
  
“I don’t understand. I finally have everything I’ve ever wanted and I can’t even enjoy it.” You shift in frustration, crossing and uncrossing your legs. Perfuma lowers the leaf bed to the ground. She steps off onto the grass and gestures for you to follow.   
  
“Sometimes what we want isn’t always what we need.”  
  
“What? I have Adora. We live in a huge fancy palace with more cushions than should be legal. What more could I possibly need.”  
  
“Trust me, no one is happier about you and Adora than I. The constant anxiety and blowing things up? Not my favourite.”   
  
“Then what are you saying?” A feeling, not unlike fear, is steadily rising within you.  
  
“You were together, then you weren’t. Then we all had to blow things up and fight each other. It’s a lot to process, but now that the dust has settl-”  
  
“We’re finally together again. Shadow Weaver saved us. Hordak is back with Entrapta and Adora loves me. In the end, it all worked out.”  
  
“For whom?” She turns to meet your eyes. “Catra, you’ve spent weeks talking about the people you hurt and damage you caused. We haven’t once spoken about the people who hurt you and, the damage they caused. We can’t work through your issues of abandonment without acknowledging them; cause and effect. ”  
  
“I don’t want to mess things up.”  
  
I know is the last thing you hear before you release an endless stream word vomit.  


* * *

You talk around it at first, choosing to focus on your tormented childhood under Shadow Weaver’s iron fist. Perfuma is patient with you. She lets you wade through shallow waters before diving in the deep end. You tell her about Hordak’s terrifying presence (before you knew more about him), about how you would cower in hidden corners on the rare occasions that he would leave his lab. 

“Let’s go back to Adora,” she prompts eventually. You stop pacing. You know talked yourself in circles about Hordak’s creepy baby demon and the subject is no longer amusing.   
  
“She left. We fought and I got over it. What’s more to tell? She loves me.”  
  
“She does. That doesn’t mean that she didn’t hurt you. Have you spoken about why she left?”  
  
“I know why she left. She had to save Etheria. We’re all here because of her.”  
  
“We’re all here because we worked hard as a team. We fought together and came through when it mattered. Especially you.”  
  
“Fine, whatever,” you flop down on the grass opposite her to lay on your back. “Etheria needed saving. That’s why she left. Millions would have died. How can I blame her for that?”  
  
“You said she left in the night, made you cover for her with the promise that she would be back. When she didn’t come back for you, how did that make you feel? Your feelings are still valid Catra. How do you feel?”  
  
You don’t realise that you’ve been crying until you feel a tickle inside your ears where the tears have settled. You sit up.  
  
“You’re not listening to me. Yeah, she left but it was for the greater good or whatever. People were dying on both sides! What don’t you understand? It had to end.”  
  
“Yes, She-Ra had to end the war. But could she have taken you with her? Could she have come back for you?”  
  
“A lot was happening. I don’t know. Villagers were scared and she had bow and glimmer to deal with. She didn’t have time.”  
  
“She didn’t have time…” Perfuma echoes.  
  
“For me,” you finish. Only then does it finally hit you. “She didn’t make time for me.”  
  
You’re silent for a long time after. Perfuma stays quiet too, opting to coax several flowers to bloom in the palm of your hand. It takes every bit of will power you have not to crush them.   
  
“Do I have to tell her?” you ask, to fill the silence more than anything. You have already resolved to do so.  
  
“If you ever want to have a goodnight’s sleep again, yes. I think it’s time,” Perfuma smiles sympathetically.   
  
“What if…” Your entire being fills with dread as the words die in your throat.  
  
“…she stops loving you?”  
  
You nod sharply, stroking the pink and white petals and watch them flatten momentarily.  
  
“I’m not sure that’s possible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Reformed' Catra repressing her feelings to stay in the afterglow is so... Reformed Catra. We're gonna see a little more of the old Catra in the next chapter.
> 
> Comments welcome!


End file.
